On being lost, on occasion

Excuse the the stutters, stumbles, and stammers: here’s a one-take recording of this edition if you prefer to listen: Spotify Link

New year, new you?

There's some truth to it. The Fresh Start Effect is real—temporal landmarks like one year changing to the next create psychological distance between what was and what could be. This phenomenon, paired with the cultural motivation of a new year, makes a new goal feel more achievable. A birthday, a new quarter, a Monday morning can have similar impact.

Except work doesn't really reset when the calendar does, does it?

Sure, there may be new projects, maybe a new budget year, new goals—and perhaps the calendar turn provides a bit of psychological relief from manufactured milestones … but the job, the people, the system you're working in … it's most likely the same as it was before you left for that New Year's Eve celebration.

So if you were feeling any professional ambiguity before the end of the year, and were hoping the promise of a new year would in itself offer a path with more promise, that disconnect—between the fresh start feeling and the unchanged reality—can make the post-holiday return particularly disorienting.

You want it to be different. But it's not. 

I think those feelings of dissatisfaction, discouragement, and frustration we all feel at work from time to time can be momentary sensations of being lost. It's an experience often amplified by industrialized management, which has a tendency to systematically bury the reasons we do the work under process, policy, and administrivia. 

When I say lost, I mean it in the existential sense of questions about the moment: Where am I going? What am I doing? How am I going to get there? Is this the right job for me? Can I do this? Am I meeting expectations? What comes next?

When without definitive answers those types of questions bring about a professional lostness that can be difficult to navigate. How long any moment of being lost lasts is variable—and so the feeling, while important, is less important than the actions that come after it in an effort to stop being lost.

That makes the idea of being not lost an interesting one: Is it found? Or alive? Or seen? Aware? Valued? Respected? Something else? A combination?

Those are all important questions worth spending time with. I'm all for reflection. And I like action, too. So here's something you can do right now, while you await your answers: Choose a direction.

Research on purpose interventions shows that simply thinking about a contribution you want to make—and taking even a modest step toward it—has outsized mental and physical health benefits. Cosmic clarity would be nice. Knowing your life's calling would have benefits. Until then? Identify something worth doing and start doing it.

Choosing a direction—or as I've written it, choosing your mission—means deciding what contribution you're after right now.

Getting professionally unlost is really about knowing yourself, knowing your situation, and taking steps toward what comes next. Only with that knowledge can you appropriately find the best course of action for questions like Should I quit? Do I need a new job? How can I make this project happen? What should I do?

Being lost is exceptionally unsettling (and often accompanied by sleepless nights, anxiety, hard conversations, major decisions, and other work-life ailments) and so it's no wonder that we desire to become unlost as quickly as possible.

Yet there's value in being lost: it's at the times I've felt lost where I am especially reflective and aware and open to the lessons of the moment. 

So I think we all need to give ourselves permission to be lost from time to time, because I think being lost can help us figure things out about work. Those feelings of dissatisfaction, discouragement, and frustration are permission for self-discovery as getting through moments of our lostness in our own way and on our own terms is the only way to traverse the path to wherever it is we desire to go.

Be true to yourself in the moment—not who you were, not who you should be, but who you are right now with what you need. Then act on it: Notice what's happening. Explore it with curiosity. Try a change.

Being lost doesn't require rescue. It requires a step in a direction.

Around The Water Cooler ⛲

the haven is the last coffee shop you can possibly visit on your way to some beautiful Kauai scenery. The coffee is excellent. Ask about the secret menu.

I’ve been baking this bread recipe for the last few weeks. Homemade bread. Mmmmmm. The original version is excellent. My everything spice and jalapeño cheddar versions are delicious.

The Return of the Weirdo by Ted Gioia

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